Controversial Couture: Team USA’s Olympic Uniforms

Last Updated: June 14, 2024By

Controversial Couture: Team USA’s Olympic Uniforms

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Paris has always been hailed for its cutting-edge fashion scene. But move over, Paris Fashion Week, because the real fashion showstopper recently debuted in the City of Light, courtesy of Team USA’s track and field kits. And let me tell you, folks, it’s a sight to behold.

When it comes to the men’s track gear, it’s as basic as it gets: your standard shorts and tank top combo. But oh boy, hold onto your hats, because the real show begins with the women’s uniforms. Talk about leaving nothing to the imagination, especially in the nether regions department.

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As Athing Mu, reigning 800m Olympic champ and Nike poster child, strutted her stuff in the team’s briefs (while her pal Sha’Carri Richardson went for the shorts), it felt like déjà vu from the Rio Games. Seriously, these new USA uniforms would fit right in on a Brazilian beach. Citius Magazine even chimed in with a tweet featuring a mannequin sporting the uniform, suffering from a major case of camel toe.

The whole ensemble feels like a throwback to the ’80s aerobic craze meets ’90s Baywatch, minus the modesty. I mean, those workout leotards were at least paired with tights, and Baywatch, well, let’s just say it was more about eye candy than athletic prowess.

 

But it’s not just a fashion faux pas; it’s a step backward for women in sports. While the guys focus on their game, the ladies are left fretting about chafing, wardrobe malfunctions, and don’t even get me started on the bikini wax situation. Yeah, equal opportunities, my foot!

Nike tried to save face by offering a range of outfit choices, but let’s be real here. The damage is done. And when Olympic champ Katie Moon came to Nike’s defense, claiming the uniforms aren’t sexist, well, let’s just say not everyone’s buying it. Tara Davis-Woodhall, the long jumper, summed it up best: “My hoo haa is gonna be out.”

This controversy couldn’t have come at a more pivotal time for women in sports. Fresh off the NCAA basketball tournament, which drew more viewers for the women’s final than the men’s, we’re witnessing a shift in the game. Just ask Caitlin Clark, who roasted SNL’s Michael Che for his sexist jabs at women’s basketball. Talk about empowerment!

But empowering is the last word I’d use to describe those Nike briefs. Sure, if some athletes feel more comfortable in them, go ahead, knock yourselves out. But for Nike to push the bikini bottom as the main attraction? That’s just plain wrong. Young girls already struggle with body image and self-esteem; they don’t need a skimpy uniform adding to the mix.

While soccer clubs worldwide ditch white shorts and Nike offers period-proof gear, we’re stuck with these bikini bottoms? Come on, Nike, you’re better than this. And don’t even get me started on the MLB uniform debacle. It’s like Nike forgot how to design clothes that actually work.

In the end, maybe Nike doesn’t care. With a net worth of $138 billion, they can afford to take risks. But at what cost? Only time will tell if our American Olympians can pull off a medal-worthy performance without flashing the crowd.

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